Can you remember the last time you wore roller skates?
I do. It consisted of a lot of death-gripping the wall and looking two sizes bigger in all my protective gear. I was like Bambi on ice, which is why it always astounds me when people glide so smoothly on wheels—on anything that’s not solid ground.
And what about those who can not only keep their balance—but also stop? Like, wow. Turning? Spinning? Barrelling into other people and knocking them over while wearing costume uniforms?
Yeah, that’s right. I’m talking about Roller Derby. Maybe you’re no good at roller blading yourself, but if you like a fast-paced game that keeps you on your toes with speedy plays, dancing between bouts, and plenty of puns, then you’ll definitely want to tag along to this year’s Adelaide Roller Derby Grand Final, taking place on Saturday, August 4.
For those of you who know nothing about Roller Derby, forget everything you saw in the movie Whip It.
Okay, not everything. Roller Derby is a female-only, full contact sport played on an oval track, on concrete or sports courts, with each team comprising of 14 players. Five players from each team take to the track for each “jam”, which can last for up to two minutes. Offense and defence are played simultaneously, with one skater from each team, the “jammer” (she’s the one with a star on her helmet), scoring a point for each member of the opposing team on her second and subsequent laps. The other four members from each team forming packs of “blockers”, who assist their jammer whilst aiming to stop the other team’s jammer from making a scoring pass.
At the Grand Final, the Mile Die Club is taking on the Road Train Rollers and battling for first place for the 2018 season. It’s the final game of the season and each team will be leaving it all on the track.
The Mile Die Club have been undefeated in the 2018 season and are looking to secure their final win with a grand final victory after coming second place in 2017, coming up short to the Salty Dolls. On the other hand, the Road Train Rollers are set on ending the Mile Die Club’s winning streak and going home as champions.
The 2018 Grand Final is a double-header bout with the Wild Hearses and Salty Dolls warming everyone up with a clash for the third place spot!
There will be off-track entertainment with live music from Haystacks Calhoon, the sparkling wit of the amazing commentating team of the Little Commie Bastards and the Roller Derby market ‘bout village’ with local creators, crafters, and artists! The bar will be open and hot food is available.
No matter who wins, everyone will be at the after party at The Wheatsheaf Hotel celebrating a massive 2018 Season once the game wraps up. The party will feature DJ WIPOD providing the tunes.
So come cheer for your favourite teams and skaters in this double derby event in a night full of amazing athleticism, big hits, laughs and great entertainment from local bands and performers.
And don’t forget to bring a chair, blanket, or cushion so you can sit comfy!