An important story.
Feature image credit: Magabala Books
Dunghutti educator and advocate Ashlee Donohue has written a memoir in which she shares her very uncomfortable story about coming through a toxic relationship, rife with violence.
Ashlee first meets Ronny when she is quite young and falls for him, very quickly becoming pregnant and therefore tied to him in a familial way as well as a romantic one. Early in their relationship, they are both clearly emotionally immature, and struggle with anger-management, and a tendency to violence. Woven around the couple are their families and communities, with all their complex and binding ties. As they both mature, Ronny continues to abuse drugs and alcohol, whilst walking through the revolving door of prison. Ashlee tries to pull herself away, but is addicted to Ronny. In other words, this is a text-book co-dependent relationship.
As well as a very honest, authentic, and personal story, Because I Love Him is a story of Aboriginal communities, and of the generational trauma, dispossession, and social issues that underpin individual relationships. It delves into Aboriginal incarceration and Indigenous concepts of manhood, motherhood, and family, and into the major issue of domestic violence and its enormous impact on the community.
Donohue’s writing is simple and direct. This happened. And then this. And then this. She doesn’t try to make pretty prose, but rather just lets the facts speak for themselves. This style does get a little dry after a while, as does her overuse of cliches. There is a lot of Ronny taking her “in his strong arms” for example.
However, despite these drawbacks, Donohue has an important story to tell, and tells it concisely, and with admirable self-honesty. It is also very much a tale of hope, and a testament to the strength of so many Indigenous women whose stories have, until recently, been consistently dismissed. She has certainly walked the walk of her recovery and survival, becoming the CEO of Mudgin-Gal Aboriginal Women’s Centre, and sitting on Sydney’s Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Advisory panel and on the Domestic Violence NSW Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Steering Committee.
Kudos to Magabala for publishing this salutary, yet optimistic, memoir.
Reviewed by Tracey Korsten
The views expressed in this review belong to the author and not Glam Adelaide, its affiliates, or employees.
Distributed by: Magabala Books
Released: May 2024
RRP: $29.99
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