Starts out interesting, then gets too brief and broad in scope.
Feature image credit: CoWomen (via Unsplash)
Dr Ali Walker is a human connection scientist and mediator. As the founder of Ality with a PhD in group dynamics from the Australian National University, her personality assessments connect your personality to your purpose. By understanding your personal connection style and those of others, you can strengthen your sense of belonging and recognise who you are compatible with in relationships, in teams, and in leadership.
How important is it to be able to connect with those around you? Is it just about having someone to chat with at the end of a working day, or being part of a group? The answer is no. It goes much further than that. Early in the text, author Walker cautions us (page 22), “Loneliness is worse for our health than smoking, obesity or substance abuse,” and the quality of our relationships are vastly more important than the number of our social interactions.
To engage with this book, it is first necessary to complete her online quiz in order to find your connection type. Thereafter, you will keep this in mind when reading about the 17 connection types, and why you will click or clash with others. Compatibility between people varies pending the context, be it your role as a leader, a team member, at a social function, in an intimate relationship, or in a community group.
The text starts with an amusing personal story, and these continue throughout the book. She refers to two quality relationships in her life – that of her husband, and that of her best friend (since age 12). These are useful to demonstrate both her emphasis on quality rather than quantity, but also in classifying the contextual compatibility of connections. For a friendship, you commonly share your connection type; with a partner, you commonly complement each other’s connection type.
As the book continues, Walker asks the reader to practice self-care, noting that most people are addicted to being stimulated. It is so easy to waste time with distractions, large or small, electronic, or not. Social media, partying, and numbing behaviours are examples of these distractions and in an advisory tone she notes you must do what is best for your connection type. For some, that is deep conversations, for others, it is time spent alone.
This concept starts out in a relevant way, such as with an exploration about how you need to replenish yourself to be an effective leader. However, part four soon starts to feel irrelevant. The last few chapters of part four echo that of a self-help book, drawing in the need to recognise that you may clash with someone simply because of a need to heal yourself. I started to zone out at this point, as I felt it was outside the scope of the book’s title and blurb.
Thankfully, part four was the final part of the book. Nevertheless, some readers may find this dialogue useful if their self-healing journey is incomplete. However, as Walker is also the author of Get Conscious: How to Stop Overthinking and Come Alive, it may be worthwhile to read that one too if you enjoy her literary style,
Reviewed by Rebecca Wu
The views expressed in this review belong to the author and not Glam Adelaide, its affiliates, or employees.
Distributed by: Penguin Books Australia
Released: January 2023
RRP: $35.00
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