A meaningful and thought-provoking book about discovering how what happened to you shapes the person you become.
Dr. Perry is the Principal of the Neurosequential Network, Senior Fellow of The ChildTrauma Academy and a Professor in the Departments of Psychiatry and Behavioural Sciences at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University in Chicago and the School of Allied Health, College of Science, Health and Engineering, La Trobe University in Melbourne.
Oprah … If you don’t know who Oprah is, well I don’t even know where to start. Relevant to this book, not only has Oprah interviewed countless trauma survivors throughout her career, she has also experienced her own childhood trauma which has driven her interest in understanding and overcoming the effect of early trauma, as well as helping others do the same.
Set out in Oprah’s trademark interview format, the text is more of a conversation where she attempts to understand Dr. Perry’s philosophy as well as share her own experiences and turning points. The main focus of the discussion explores how what happens to us in early childhood-–both good and bad—influences who we become.
Let me start off by saying this is not a self-help book that will provide you with clear tools on how to recover from trauma. It is a discussion about the need for a major shift in the mental health industry, and in general, to move away from the current focus of, “What’s wrong with you?” to, “What happened to you?” It’s an opportunity to better understand how experiences from our past can affect how we think and act. How focusing on the cause will offer better insight into the cure.
While What Happened to You? offers deep insight into the benefits of stopping to ask what happened in someone’s past to better understand why they are who they are, as well as some of the
This book isn’t about blaming anyone for your trauma or about using your past as an excuse for your behaviour. It’s about accepting and understanding that your reaction to your trauma is valid and offering reassurance that you can heal.
There were a lot of take-aways from this book, particularly debunking the old saying that children are resilient. Dr. Perry points out that people are not resilient; they are malleable. Nobody experiences trauma and walks away unchanged. We are forced to change, we adapt, we move forward, but nobody remains unchanged. It’s often an issue after someone has experienced trauma and those around them think they have ‘bounced back’ because they look like they’re doing okay, when in fact they are still processing and recovering from the trauma. Hopefully, this new perspective will act as a reminder to keep checking in and to the survivor that there’s no deadline on how long it should take to recover.
I would have liked more variation in the examples used to demonstrate traumatic events. Most were on the extreme side, such as children who had physically abusive parents or witnessed a parent losing their life, making for a heavy read in some sections. I also would have preferred some tweaking in the formatting. Various diagrams are used to demonstrate brain function, transgenerational transmission, etc. but they are placed a few pages forwards or backwards from where they are discussed. Better alignment would have made for a smoother read.
This was an interesting and insightful read. While the book offers great insight into understanding why we are who we are, I also hope it encourages people to not only take a moment to try and better understand each other, but also to stop and think about how our actions may impact somebody else. Those looking to improve their understanding of how the brain works and the effects of trauma should enjoy this book. I would also consider it an essential read for anyone working in a profession that has them interacting with children or working with mental health.
Reviewed by Jessica Incoll
Twitter: @littlejadventur
Distributed by: Pan Macmillan
Released: 27 April 2021
RRP: $34.99
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