Glam’s guiltiest guide yet comes with blood sugar highs and self-esteem lows, but hey, some dishes are just worth the calories. Whether you are on the hunt for your dream cheat meal, need to get over a breakup or have just accepted that your summer body won’t be made in winter (or spring), we have the treat for you. From high-fat freak shakes to decadent delicacies, we go on the hunt for the city’s sweetest sins.
D’arry’s Verandah Restaurant – Osborn Rd, McLaren Vale
Don’t you dare do D’arry’s without polishing the day off with their signature Passionfruit Soufflé with pouring cream. The fluffy, tart and dreamy dish is best paired with The Noble Wrinkled Riesling 2015.
Jolley’s Boathouse – 1 Jolleys Ln, Adelaide
See the sun shimmer over the Torrens and take in the tourist’s eye view of the exquisite riverbank precinct. Glam’s go-to is the milk chocolate and cocoa nib mille feuille with espresso ice cream – even better when consumed after the Crow’s win (burn).
Woodside Cheese Wrights – 22 Henry St, Woodside
The Monet was designed for bragging rights on the ‘Gram. Supple, white goat cheese cloaked in pretty petals. Named for Monet’s garden, the multi-award winner is appropriate to eat at any time of the day. And for those of you at home intrigued by goat curd, click to Woodside’s website for their Goat Curd Cheesecake recipe.
Creperie Bruxelles – 70 Henley Beach Rd, Mile End
Poffertjes. If you can’t pronounce it, we need to talk. The Fringe-time favourite has a permanent location so you can get your fix of the delightful Dutch bite with all the rum butter your heart desires.
Al Mina Mediterranean Patisserie – 140 Prospect Rd, Prospect
Znood is an Arabic word for the blubber coating your tricep. It’s there, just shake your wrist around for a jiggly reminder. Now we’re nice and insecure about it, bulk it up at Al Mina. Like a sweet spring roll, this pastry is filled with ashta (the curd from boiled milk), deep-fried and soaked in sugar syrup laced with orange blossom water. RIP #bodygoals.
Georges on Waymouth – 20 Waymouth St, Adelaide
Finish an elegant evening with George by trying the tonka bean macaroon, pear cream, pear sorbet and lemon meringue creation. It’s as good for your belly as it is for your brain, the flavour combinations will activate a far more interesting response than your standard sundae.
Market Street – Market Street, Adelaide
Tucked behind Passatempo and buzzing China Town, is Market Street. A French patisserie of heavenly proportions, a hang out for lawyers and the brunch spot of your social media dreams. Everything here is exquisite, but do the honeycomb cheesecake.
Mayflower Restaurant & Bar – 45 King William St, Adelaide
Once upon a time, a girl called Ava went to the opening of the Mayfair Hotel and strategically hid in a quiet room where nobody would judge her as she devoured copious amounts of Swan-shaped choux pastry. Do the Mayfair High Tea on weekends from 2pm to 4pm and see why her clothes no longer fit.
2KW – 2 King William St, Adelaide
Fresh doughnuts are a yes, any time, any day. Sample 2KW’s sweet potato donuts with bourbon bacon caramel sauce, pecan walnut crumb and marscapone. If you feel bad post-consumption, go back to the bar.
Nutrition Republic – 1/100 King William Road, Goodwood
I know you’re confused reading this, and quite frankly, so are we. The brilliant team at Nutrition Republic now stock Pana Chocolate desserts and I think they’re lying to all the skinny people, because my inner (outer) fat girl enjoyed the Pana Pops far too much. It’s just like a Golden Gaytime, only vegan and refined sugar-free.
Salopian Inn – Corner of Main Road and McMurtrie Road, McLaren Vale
There’s an ice-cream sandwich for adults and we’re all over it. Salted Caramel, orange and chocolate with honeycomb and chocolate Sauce. Get to the chopper, pronto.
Antica Pizzeria – 144 King William Road, Hyde Park
One metre nutella calzone. We’ll leave this here.
JamFace – Central Market, Adelaide
Poh Ling Yeow has created a calorie catastrophe in the markets and we’re all for it. Sit down with a Milly Filly (a cuter name for Millefeuille) and take yourself back to the streets of Paris, but with superior coffee.
Sean’s Kitchen – Station Rd, Adelaide
There’s something about an upside-down ice-cream cone that makes my inner child feel sad, but then immediately excited that a plate was able to catch it. The ever-changing Pimped Golden North Soft Serve is the ultimate crowd pleaser.
50SixOne – 144A King William Rd, Hyde Park
Once upon a time, I could park on King William Road. Then there was 50SixOne. Reflective of the postcode, this insanely popular dessert bar does brunch and desserts that clog your Instagram feed and arteries. Pile on the Sigature Red Velvet Pancakes, try the Tartufo Melt or just get the job done with a freak shake.
The Henry Austin – 29 Chesser St, Adelaide
Your parents aren’t from Adelaide unless they did something that still makes them giggle at Chesser Cellars. The hot new CBD spot comes complete with a stuffed bear, which makes for the perfect Facebook check in. Try the parnsip ice-cream with pistachio cake and dehydrated fennel. It’s provocative and deeply rewarding.
By Blackbird – 3/44-46 King William Rd, Goodwood
Cosy up to latte art and a slice of Istanbul – a spicy carrot cake base topped with layers of marscapone chese and raspberry coulis. The quiches, pimped up breads and pastries are worthy of recognition.
Muratti – 114B Prospect Rd, Prospect
The OG patisserie has a new hit on the shelf. The Red Passion Sphere combines passionfruit crème with raspberry and lemon compote inside a light chocolate mousse, resting on a chocolate and orange crumb. It also looks like a Mario Bros. mushroom and that makes us happy.
The Wooden Spoon – Harbour Town
Sometimes you just need to douse a glass of milk in chocolate, add 1kg of ice cream, a few brownies and a cronut and move on. Epic shakes are on the menu at this western haunt.
Steven Ter Horst – 256 Rundle St, Adelaide
Have a hot chocolate and try the Chocolate Truffle Tart, Chocolate Cloud or Nuts About Chocolate. But also buy some chocolate to go. Because chocolate.
Le Carpe Diem – 230-232 Grenfell St, Adelaide
For proper Frenchy feasting, visit Carpe Diem. The crepes will take you back to those several times you thought you saw your future husband roaming the streets of France. Order two if you’re still single, they won’t judge.
Chuck Wagon – 175 O’Connell St, North Adelaide
These guys know what to do with Nutella. Delve into a deep fried Nutella mars bar, Nutella oreo cheesecake, Nutella lava cake, Nutella burger or super fudgy Nutella brownie. Check out their Instagram for shakes to make your personal trainer cry.
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