When Dionne Warwick sang the song ‘That’s What Friends Are For” you can be pretty sure there was no line in there about proving how popular you were. A quick look through the lyrics will tell you she thought maybe friends were “For good times and bad times” and “knowin’ you can always count on me”. But not a whisper about trying to have as many of them as possible to impress your, ah, friends.
So while you can count on them, there’s no mention of actually counting them. Which appears to be all the rage these days.
It seems long gone are the days where someone would say, you might be lucky if you have one or two good friends in your lifetime. Now, if you’ve got anything less than five or six hundred you’re pretty much just a total loser. People are collecting them in much the same way they might collect… actually, they’re collecting friends like nothing else before.
Other than the collectors who have more stamps or coins than Facebook friends (yes, I imagine there is a correlation) most people wouldn’t have a collection of more than 50 or 100 of anything let alone friends. I personally used to have an amazing collection of Weetbix cards, and probably still have more of them than Facebook friends, but only just. For most people then, it seems ‘friends’ are the ultimate collectable. They’re colourful. They don’t take up much space. And best of all, they’re free!
The only question is, is it changing the way we look at friends now? If you’re a Facebooker, and let’s face it, the stats suggest you more likely are than aren’t, have a look on the walls of some of your ‘friends’, or maybe even your own. There’s a better than even chance you’ll see a message that goes something like “Thanks for the add. Do I know you?” Let’s clarify this. What they’re actually saying is, “Thanks for becoming my friend even though I have no idea who you are.” I don’t know, call me old fashioned, but where I come from, I usually like to at least know someone before I become friends with them. At the risk of sounding particularly picky, I more often than not prefer to actually like them as well. A lot.
Where to from here then? Maybe on their next run of unwanted updates that everyone complains about, Facebook could consider adding an ‘Acquaintance Request’ and possibly even a ‘Quite Like to Get to Know You Request’ rather than have people go from ‘stranger’ to ‘friend’ in the click of a button.
I find it sad enough we have technology to thank for the misuse of our fair language when Generation PS-Xbox-Wii ask things like “Who are the Crows versing on the weekend?”. “Versing”? Honestly? But now, we’re not just changing how we use words, but changing what they mean. I must confess, I’m as guilty as anyone with some people on my friends list I probably wouldn’t really consider anything more than a vague acquaintance – although whether or not I’d be prepared to publicly declare them as such is another matter. Perhaps ‘Trial Friends’, ‘Rookie Friend’, ‘Trainee Friends’ or even ‘Friend Interns’ might be some better options. I wonder what my friends would think about that?
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