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Matching The Right Wine With Your Disappointing Child

Parenting is hard. We all know that, and no-one knows it better than Chris Taylor, who’s never had kids. Luckily for us, he believes that the key to survival lies in successful wine matching.

If you’ve ever sat down and enjoyed the witty entertainment that was dished out in the cult classic, Plonk (available on Stan for repeat enjoyment), you’ll be well aware of Chris Taylor, of The Chaser fame, and his ability to turn any conversation about wine into a memorable experience.

Well he’s continued his amazing tongue-in-cheek education of the good drop, this time giving us a guide for matching the right wine with your disappointing child.

Parenting is hard. We all know that, and no-one knows it better than Chris, who’s never had kids.

Some golden nuggets from the guide include what to drink when your child is bullying other kids at school, what to drink when your child has been kidnapped, and what to drink when your child does a massive poo in the supermarket. All drink-worthy occasions, no?

Best of all, you can not only read up on their website for these handy tips, but there’s a whole damn mag – called The Official Guide To Bad Parenting – which is available just in time for Mother’s Day.

This gem includes:

Pia Freedman on Why You Shouldn’t Become a Parent in the First Place
Jazz Twemlow’s Sexy Sex Guide on How to Get Pregnant: turning sex into something dull and lifeless
– “Dr Carl’s” Uninformed Guide to Childbirth (written by Craig Reucassel)
Chris Taylor’s Toddler-Years Wine Matching Guide
Andrew Hansen’s Who needs sleep: The first three months
– Rhys Muldoon on how to outsource all your parenting using Uber apps
– 6-18 months: Dave Pieper’s guide to making your partner do most of the work
– High School Years: Use the freedom to have an affair… and much, much more.

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