First of all, yes, I know the play on words isn’t grammatically correct, but let’s roll with it here.
It’s been a tough election – and we really were divided as to who should lead our country. I for one have struggled with this election campaign, because honestly, I didn’t like either major candidate and failed to understand which one would be best for me. I threw it out there to all my ‘Facebook friends’ as to who they were voting for and why – and you know what? I received some bizarre responses. My favourite came from Susan, who made the point that neither leader of the major parties could dress well; in her thinking, if a person doesn’t know how to make an outfit work for them or how to present themselves to the public to inspire confidence, intelligence and style – then exactly how do they think they are going to run a country?
Susan proclaimed she knew nothing about politics, but reminisced about a past candidate for Prime Minister who was overweight and didn’t exactly inspire confidence. “If you can’t manage kilojoule intake vs physical exercise – then I’m pretty sure you can’t run a country.” But Susan… what if he’s super slim and sporting a pair of budgie smugglers? Isn’t that just as scary?
Now, I have steered clear of picking on the pollies – especially in the style stakes – ever since the previous election when the Advertiser ran a piece on Mr Rudd’s other half Theresa, and asked for a few stylist’s tips on her outfit choices. I copped it from a few haters on the online forums who, and I quote, critiqued me back saying that I had no right to give Theresa any style tips because I skip around town sporting a fake tan and PVC knee high boots. Well… the joke is on them, because they obviously can’t tell the difference between PVC and patent leather, my boots came from cherri bellini – Italian made. I also prefer the fake tan option rather than lying in a tanning bed enhancing my chances of skin cancer. Come on kids, wisen up to this epidemic, fake tan is a healthier option, tanning beds do not make you cool, what-ever stigma is attached to it in your minds.
So, let’s get to it. How could we better dress our politicians for success, or as I like to call it – $UCCE$$!
I ask the style gurus and fashion experts of Australia.
Josh Flinn – Model Mentor on Australia’s Next Top Model & Ex-Adelaide Fashionisto!
Josh Vs Roy Wyatt
“Who? Oh, doesn’t matter. Roy is the youngest man in the House and his style needs to reflect his connection to the younger generation of voters. We all know pollies have much more important things to do (watch porn, sniff seats, go overseas on our money) than worry about the banal histrionics of the season BUT- savvy young Roy needs to stay one step ahead if he is to gain any credibility with the cronies…
Ditch the jeans Roy and opt for fitted suit trousers in navy, black (to accentuate his honorable member!) and the always-stylish charcoal. Team these trousers with fitted shirts and accent the entire look with vests and skinny ties- this will ensure he is still all business up the front. As the baby of the group he has very big shoes to fill- so Roy needs to make sure he is well shod for all that “crossing the floor” I’m sure he will be doing. Snub toe lace-ups and brogues in neutral colours will keep him sure footed.”
Matthew Jordan – The hugely successful ‘Style Tyrant’ and man behind Imelda
Matthew Vs Penny Wong
“When you consider that Imelda’s been sporting a terno for the best part of 60 years my assessment of Ms Wong’s sartorial maraudings and mishaps may appear hypercritical.
But when Imelda looks at Wong through a pair of western shaped eyes, I can see how the perennially suited Senator could be perceived more like a mountain of retro les-bean-ism stereotyping than a cool warrioress battling climate change.
Any-who, my beef with Penny isn’t so much about her penchant for man-style suiting, lets be honest, man-style suiting has never been haute’r. No, it’s Wong’s choice of suiting – big, boxy and bland (colour) that has Imelda’s merciless tongue of tyranny all twisted.
I’ve taken Wong’s genetic predisposition to floaty skirts and a nice pair of heels into consideration when I suggest that she shimmy into this Saint Augustine Academy tuxedo-style jumpsuit and slip her trotters into pair of Elliot Ward-Fear platform wedges.
The cut of the jumpsuit will give Wong much needed definition through the waist. While the plunging neckline and shorts should keep her cool during tense debates with climate change skeptics and the shoes… well they’re just for kicks.”
Benjamin Ringuet – Brisbane fashion designer recently featured in Gerard McCabe presents Noir.
Benjamin Vs Julie Bishop
“Either of these dresses would be perfect for the glamourous Julie Bishop.
She has a great figure and this Oscar De La Renta wrap dress would be flattering, but still office appropriate. The V-collared neckline will work with her cropped hair. To add a bit of statement to the outfit Julia should add some feminine shoes in a statement colour like these gorgeous Tabitha Simmons pumps. A Marni necklace and simple pratical YSL bag finish the outfit off nicely.
And viola, one perfectly polished pollie.”
Liza Emanuele – South Australian Queen of fashion, owner/designer of Liza Emanuele Hyde Park Boutique and Emanuele Bride.
Liza Vs Julia Gillard
“Considering Julia is a South Aussie girl, I’d love to get her dressed in product that is 100% South Australian made!
I’d love to get Julia in one of my navy wrap dresses, they cover up well, and are still very feminine. I love a wrap dress because it’s flattering on so many body shapes, and the navy would suit Julia’s complexion perfectly. I’d team it up with a summer trench, always better on a woman with curves if the don’t want to accentuate their hips!
I’d team it up with a super trendy briefcase/handbag from ‘After the Apple’ and new handbag label I’m stocking in my boutique exclusively to SA, and then bling her up a little with Matina Amanit blue stone gold ring (another exclusive brand to my store), to tie in all the colours of this season’s colour palette!”
And then of course, who would I like to dress up?
Well, I’m going to jump on a different breed, and dress up the man I’d like to see as our next Mayor of Adelaide, CouncilorFrancis Wong. I’m backing this man 100% because he is a friend to fashion, and not only that, but Francis is passionate about supporting local businesses and expanding our professional and commercial horizons in this city. So…
Filip Vs Francis Wong
Francis is a busy man, and constantly going from one function to the next. For a business daytime look, I’ve picked him out a suit from the Suit Co in darker tones that can take him from day to evening easily. If you go online you can piece together the shirt, tie & slim fit or traditional fit suit, try it: http://www.thesuitco.com.au/ – it’s so much fun, like playing Barbie dolls for boys!
And then for a relaxed look in the evening I’d like to lighten up his fashionable colour palette with some neutral tones. I may be bias, but I love the shirts and these new blazers from nANA jUDY.
Now wouldn’t it be great if every pollie could have a personal stylist built into their budgets? I mean, they could afford it? Or do they all need a pay rise?
Label Info:
http://www.saintaugustineacademy.com.au/
http://www.facebook.com/Subfusco
http://www.elliotwardfear.com/
http://www.tabithasimmons.com/
http://www.oscardelarenta.com/
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