The Beards are committed to spreading a message through their music: a message about beards. Formed in Adelaide, The Beards have taken their unshaven style of rock around the nation, and they’ll open for KISS and Motley Crue at the Clipsal 500 before travelling to the US, to spread the good word about beards. I spoke to lead singer Johann ahead of the performance.
Are you excited for your performance at the Clipsal?
Ah, look, we’ve got mixed feelings about this one. Anytime we get to a stage and spread our bearded message is good. KISS and Motley Crue though… pretty beardless bands. So it’s not real great to be supporting such acts.
You anticipated my next question! You are performing ahead of KISS and Motley Crue, and these bands are considered “rock legends”, but when I last checked, they weren’t sporting beards. Do you still consider them legends?
I don’t personally consider them legends, no. KISS at least have the decency to cover up their beardless faces with their makeup and what have you. Motley Crue though ﹣ so beardless. I don’t think there’s been a more beardless band in the history of glam rock. Maybe Poison.
You’ll have to show them how it’s done!
We will, and hopefully that will be the one positive to come out of our show ﹣ we’ll show these bands what a real band looks like, y’know. A real band’s got beards.
I agree! So what can we expect from your show on Sunday night?
Songs about beards. We are pro-beard. We should put that out there straight away. So there’ll be songs about how good it is to have a beard, and we’re hoping for a good amount of bearded support from the racegoers.
Any new material on the cards? Or just well-known favourites?
We actually do have a brand new song that we’re going to play in Adelaide for the first time. It’s about letting your inner beard come out and it’s called “There’s A Bearded Man Inside Me”. It’s good and beardy.
Fantastic! Are there any other bands you’re keen to see at the Clipsal concerts?
Uh, look, the thing about other bands is that they don’t sing songs about how good it is to have a beard. And we just can’t get behind any music that’s not directly beard-related. So we try not to listen to anything else apart from ourselves.
I wanted to ask you about the ‘Bands on Track’ feature presented by Music SA, which you’re performing as a part of. Do you know the other bands? Are they beardy?
They’re not beardy enough. There are some beards floating around locally; the folks at Music SA have a good history of supporting bearded acts such as ourselves. I think they know how to spot a good beard and put it on a showcase.
So, Ford or Holden? Do you have a preference?
…I don’t know. Do any of the other drivers have beards? I should probably research that myself. Yeah, I’ll just check out their beards on the day and decide then.
You guys grew up in Adelaide, but you’ve built up quite a name for yourself across the nation. What keeps you guys coming back to Adelaide? What does Adelaide mean to you guys?
Adelaide is the place where we first started singing about beards, given that we’re all Adelaide boys, and because the good folk of our hometown responded so well to our beard-related propaganda music, it encouraged us to spread our wings and look interstate to convince even more people to grow beards. It’s a springboard for us.
I believe you guys are headed to the US soon, is that right?
On Thursday! One week from today. We’re doing South by Southwest and a bunch of other showcases. It’s all about spreading the word, and the word is: “beards”.
What does the future hold for the beards?
We’re going to grow our beards even longer. That’s always on the agenda. We’ll be touring the UK and Europe in May and then an Aussie national tour in June.
The Beards will perform at the Clipsal 500 at 6:20pm, Sunday March 3 as part of the Bands on Track feature, presented by Music SA. The full Bands on Track lineup is as follows:
Vents and Purpose – Friday 1st March
Move To Strike and Heston Drop – Saturday 2nd March
The Beards, Before The Aftermath and The Rules – Sunday 3rd March